Who Would Want to be House Speaker?

the indignity

On the day after the defenestration of House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, one might well ask: “who needs it?” Who needs to be Speaker of the House of Representatives and get caught in the crossfire between “far-right” ultra-MAGA armed insurrectionary extremists and good loyal Democratic supporters of “Our Democracy?”

Yes, it is shocking that this is the very first time in recorded history that a House Speaker has been turned out. But there’s always a first time.

Plus, all youse guys are living off Our Money. Suck it in, cupcake.

But I tell you what my take was.

I thought to myself: I’m not surprised by this defenestration. But I would have been shocked, shocked, if Nancy Pelosi had been shown the door during her House Speakership.

Because, darling, it is unthinkable that a Democrat House Speaker would ever have been treated this way.

Why is that? Why do I just know that it could never happen to a Democrat?

It’s not that hard.

Democrats are the ruling class. You don’t mess with the ruling class.

Democrats are the Inner Party. You don’t mess with the Inner Party.

When you are the ruling class and the Inner Party you live in a lordly zone far above the low-rent dealings of the ultra-MAGA low-lifes. Darling.

However.

Why conspire with the ultra-MAGAs to embarrass the Republicans?

I’ll tell you.

The Dems took advantage of the situation they are not all that solid in the saddle. They need to embarrass the Republicans, because, you never know.

What if the inflation isn’t “transitory?” What if there’s a recession in 2024? What if, God forbid, the Dems go down 55-45 in November 2024?

So it makes sense to take every advantage you can get to embarrass the Republicans.

Am-I-right, Nance? or Am-I-right?

And honey, surely you are above whining like a college girl about being turfed out of your hideaway office. Anyway, I thought that hideaway offices were for chaps like Lyndon Johnson to bonk the female help of an afternoon. I had no idea that senior women legislators needed such conveniences.

But why do you chaps and chapettes need offices anyway? Back in the day, it seems to me, the guys used to hang out in the smoking lounges making deals while smoking their seegars, and then rolled out of their armchairs into the Senate or House chamber when someone was giving a speech. Sounds good enough to me. The first office building, the Cannon Office Building, was completed in 1908. Imagine what life was like for members and staff before they had offices.

After the revolution, the first thing we do, we burn down all the offices.